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death as teacher - Miami, FL

My 27 year old daughter, Michelle, lost control of her car and died of brain trauma on March 29, 2009. She was a beautiful dancer, a loving, funny person. Why? I asked, over and over. Rage followed.
But after a while, I realized that only my head raged, while my heart hoped.
Hope is our soul's way of telling us there is a Truth that will fill our hearts with understanding so that we can live like victors, not victims, in the face of seeming tragedy.
I hoped my daughter did not cease to exist harder than I'd hoped for anything in my entire life. I opened my heart to Jesus (instead of what religions say about Jesus), and the JOY of God's love for me and my daughter and everyone in the world filled my mind and heart as never before. I let go of the idea that we are separate from God, and that when we die we are somehow closer to Him. I realized we can be as close as we want to with Him, in this life and in any other form of life we may experience.
I understood the love Jesus talks about unites us in the eternal NOW. Though I'm right here in a body, and Michelle is not here in a body, we are still beings of love, united in His Love. The best way we can prepare for our death is by giving love as Jesus taught: from strength, courage,compassion and wisdom. There is a huge difference in loving out of the fear we are not loved than from loving because we know that is essentially what we ARE. We can overcome the tribulations of the world if we let ourselves be changed by the light of Truth. I don't just mean living by mystical sounding explanations that deaden our pain. We are not to let our particular suffering define us or our lives. What we do with our suffering, how we can be changed for the better by it, how it can help us to create change in the world is the "gift" our pain can bring, if we allow it, that is. So in my daughter's death, I've learned to open my heart right now. Not later, not next Tuesday. NOW.
LOVE TO ALL. Marilee

Miami, FL

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