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TICK TOCK - OCEAN COUNTY NEW JERSEY

THE CLOCK WAS JUST TICKING AWAY. I NEVER KNEW HIS TIME WAS NEAR UNTIL HE STARTED TALKING LIKE HE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO PASS ON TO THE NEXT LIFE. AT TIMES I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET IT BACK TOGETHER, MEANING MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM. IT HAS BEEN VERY HARD. IT'S ONLY BEEN 4 MONTHS AND 10 DAYS HE HAS BEEN GONE AWAY FROM ME. EVERY DAY I THINK OF HIM. I GO SEE HIS GRAVE EVERY DAY. WHY? I KEEP ASKING MYSELF, AND ALL I CAN COME UP WITH IS I LOVE HIM AND I'M NOT READY TO LET GO. I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER APRIL 22, 2004. LOVE LOVE LOVE. HOW I WISH I COULD STILL HAVE HIM HERE CLOSE TO ME. I AM VERY CONFUSED, AT TIMES WONDERING IS HE OK. I DREAM OF HIM ALL THE TIME. IT'S LIKE HE COMES TO ME IN MY DREAMS TO TELL ME SOMETHING AND I AWAKE JUST CRYING MY EYES OUT. MIKE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I MISS YOU. I KNOW YOU ARE WITH ME AND YOU KEEP ME SAFE. SO MANY TIMES IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY TIME AND I FEEL LIKE I CHEATED DEATH BUT YOU JUST LEFT SO QUICKLY I THANK GOD I HAD A CHACE TO SAY GOODBYE AND I LOVE YOU. I CAN FEEL HIM PRESENT NO MATTER WHERE I AM AT. IT'S LIKE HE'S GUIDING ME. HIS DEATH WAS SUCH A BIG BLOW TO ME AND STILL IS. I OFTEN WONDER WHEN AM I GOING TO DIE SO I CAN SEE HIM AGAIN. I JUST FEEL THE NEED TO SEE HIM SOMETIMES. I WANT TO UNEARTH HIM BUT I KNOW I CAN'T. THE PAIN I'M GOING THROUGH, I JUST WANT IT TO STOP. I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO LOSE IT AND BREAK DOWN. I THOUGHT I WOULD BE MUCH STRONGER BUT THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HIM IS TOO GREAT. I JUST WANT TO LIE DOWN AND DIE MYSELF. I JUST NEVER KNEW PAIN COULD BE SO GREAT. (IT'S WORSE THAN HAVING A BABY.) GOD I BEG OF YOU TO HELP ME WITH THIS PAIN. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND CHERISH HIM BUT THIS PAIN IS TOO GREAT. MICHAEL I LOVE YOU BABY ALWAYS AND FOREVER AND I KNOW YOU KNOW IT. WELL I"M GOING TO SAY BYE FOR NOW TIME IS NEAR FOR ME TO GO SEE YOU SO I'LL SEE YOU SOON. LOVE ALWAYS ZSAZSA

ZSA , OCEAN COUNTY NEW JERSEY


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